You are doing what?

I wandered around the house picking up random items remembering who gave them to me or how Trin and I obtained it.   I asked myself, “Can I really leave all this behind?  Can I sell or give it all away?”  I sat on the couch, one of two things we own that we can actually call expensive.  We purchased it as a celebration a few years ago when we paid off our house in Pennsylvania.  Since then we’ve sold that house and moved to North Carolina.   I reclined the couch and gazed out the huge window into the wooded backyard.  A herd of deer wandered through that morning.  It was peaceful.

deer in backyard

Trin and I have talked for quite some time about doing something different.  Something different then the rat race corporate world.  Should we retire early to Ecuador?  Maybe we should get a Volkswagen Van and travel America.   For years we talked about it.  This was finally the year we were really going to pull the trigger and do something different.  We decided to sell our house and everything in it except our backpacks and just travel.  First stop Central & South America.

January of 2016 we started posting items on Craigslist.  Items we should have gotten rid of years ago.  Items that we no longer wanted or used.  We had not given notice at work yet. We could still change our minds.

One evening after a very upsetting day at work Trin said to me,  “We need to do this.  Let’s do it before we get too old to enjoy it.  If we don’t we will regret it.”  It was a release.  We had both been frustrated with the corporate world for a while now and the crazy overtime that allowed us to do little else.    I already had a work trip planned to India so we decided that when I got back from that trip we would both give our notices at work.  We were going to do this and excitement started to mount.

Some of these conversations were more difficult than others.  I called my sister in Phoenix who was not at all surprised and said we must write a book about it.   Next I called my mom.  She was a bit more apprehensive and asked it we would still have a phone.  My dad brought up the issue with the Zika virus.  Next we called our long time friends Mike and Kristina and said we needed to talk and wanted to meet them at a restaurant sometime soon.  Trin and I arrived first at the Mexican restaurant and I practiced the Spanish words on the menu.  We both needed to learn Spanish for this trip.  I have always wanted to learn another language.  They arrived with expectation.  “We are going to do it, we are retiring this year.  Selling everything and headed to South America to travel,” we told them.  They were super excited for us, but not surprised.  They offered to help in any way they could to make this possible for us (little did either of us know we would have to call in a few favors from them).

My trip to India was the hardest.  I have worked with Vinny and Abhinav since 2009 they are like family to me and I would have to say goodbye.  As is the hospitality in India they both picked me up from the airport in New Delhi when I arrived.  Rahul and Ankita met us at a local kabob place where we had dinner and just enjoyed seeing each other again and catching up.  I asked Vinny and Abhinav to meet me at the hotel lobby later that evening.

2014 Q1-2 152
Vineet, Bonnie, Trinity, and Abhinav in NC

I thought long and hard during the time leading up to this trip.  How do I tell them and what can I give them.  I decided to give them something meaningful to me that fit with what they love.  Abhinav loves cars/motorcycles and loves to learn how to work on things.  When he was in North Carolina for a visit the previous year he spent a lot of time with my husband  working on the car or on the bicycles. Abhinav loves to learn and learns fast.  He is brilliant. For Abhinav I took a small wooden car that I had made out of black walnut in my father’s garage.  Vinny and I share a fascination and awe of God’s nature, he is like a  brother to me.  For him I brought a framed photo of the Grand Canyon that my sister took.  She is an awesome photographer and I’ll give her a shameless plug here 🙂

The three of us, Vinny, Abhinav, and I found a corner seating area in the lobby of Radisson Blu where I was staying.  They knew something was up.  Telling them was difficult and I choked up.  “I’m leaving the company this year.  When I get back after this trip I will be giving my notice,” I told them.   They grew silent.  Abhinav teared up.  I teared up.  We knew that our time was short.  We have worked very hard together and learned a lot from each other.  I am thankful for the modern age of Facebook and I must keep in touch with my friends in India.  It will be more difficult without the daily work calls or yearly visits, but we will keep in touch.

My one-on-one with my boss was scheduled for the Tuesday after my return from India.  Trin scheduled a meeting with his boss around the same time.  Yes, we work for the same company and we knew word would get around.   My boss was genuinely excited for me.    I asked if it could be kept confidential until I was able to tell my team and friends at work.

The most common reaction was, “You are doing what?”  Or some simply stared with mouth open for a bit, then asked me to repeat that.  I scheduled a meeting in the afternoon with the team in Cary with a false subject line, something about a tool update.  In the meeting, I told them all that I was leaving.  One of the men on the team whom I have grown to respect immediately scheduled a meeting with me called “How?”


We get this a lot, “How are you retiring at 43”  Trin often answers, “I drive a beige car with a blue door”  Neither of us have ever been big spenders.  This for us has been freedom.  I learned very young that “The borrower is servant to the lender” – A Proverbs of Solomon.

As our possessions disappear to a sale, the Goodwill, or simply given away, the feeling of freedom mounts.


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